Partnering with Your Body Part II - Empathetic Listening
Part 2 out of 3 part series – Empathetic Listening
Last time we discussed having a partnership with your body based on respect. When discussing body respect we named how respect is an ACT of kindness toward your body that can be done regardless of how you “feel” about your body. These respectful acts can go a long way toward building a more loving partnership with your body.
This time, we’ll discuss another important aspect of a loving partnership. What’s one of the first pillars of a loving partnership that anyone who's seen a couples therapist or even just done a quiz in Cosmo magazine will know? Empathetic Listening! Well, you can practice Empathetic Listening with your body as well.
Empathetic Listening can be practiced by intentionally listening to your body’s cues. Can you listen to its desires, its hungers, its appetites? Can you listen to your body’s yeses and listen to its nos?
Truly listening empathetically means leaving your opinions at the door, listening with curiosity, for true understanding. When it comes to listening to your body, please leave diet culture behind. If your body tells you it’s hungry, a diet culture thought might be, “but I just ate 1 hour ago!” Try to leave out your opinions and just hear that your body needs something to eat. Period. (And, just for clarity, there are MANY valid reasons you may be hungry after just eating an hour ago. LMK if you need help brainstorming these reasons.)
One way to practice listening to your body is to make note of your hunger/fullness cues as they arise without judgment. For practice, I ask my clients to use a hunger/fullness continuum similar to this one.
Image source: Graciously Nourished
You might choose to note your hunger/fullness level when you have the urge to eat, when you are halfway through your food and again when you are done eating. Alternatively, You could look for data hourly for one or two days. However you approach this, it’s important to listen non-judgmentally and without opinions about wanting it to be different.
For example, when you first start listening, instead of saying to yourself, “Oh, no, I’m stuffed! I ate too much and didn’t stop when I should have. I’ll never get this intuitive eating thing!” We could kindly notice, “Hmm...My tummy is feeling very full. It’s pressing on my pants and I am uncomfortable. Body, thank you for that message. I know my digestion will do its job and I will feel better soon.” “PS, that special meal was surely delicious. I’m glad I got to partake. Intuitive eating is a learning process. I’m so glad I’m listening to my body.”
Another way to practice listening to your body is by asking yourself evocative questions. The wonderful folks at Center for Body Trust in Portland invite you to ask yourself this question, “If you could eat anything right now and be guaranteed that it wouldn’t affect your weight, your health, or your reputation, what would you eat?” They also ask, “What’s the difference between appetite and hunger? Satisfaction vs. fullness?” and, ”If you lived in a fat affirming world and you never had to worry about people judging your body again, what would you want to do more of? Less of?” Asking these types of questions and then truly listening to your body’s wisdom can help build a stronger partnership between you and your body. Spend some time sharing your answers with a trusted friend or journaling your answers.
Empathetic Listening is an important part of partnering with your body and a great way to turn down the volume on diet culture. It takes practice, and your body’s voice may be just a whisper, at first. Stick with it and over time you’ll be more attuned to even the most subtle cues.
Stay tuned for part 3 of this blog where we discuss our last suggestion for partnering with your body, Body Trust.
For support in this partnership with your body, you may wish to partner with a non-diet nutritionist. To schedule a meet and greet at Heart Guided Nutrition click here.