SAGING – Deep Inner Listening
How can “saging” be applied to our relationships with food and our bodies?
I have been reading a book by author, poet, and philosopher Mark Nepo. One of the chapters is about Sages. Mark says:
“The word sage is from the Latin sapere, which means to taste. In its original form, sage is a verb, a process or gesture by which we take in the world. …While watching and thinking may be helpful, it is internalizing what we experience that opens us to wisdom. …Saging, then, is a fundamental process like breathing. It evokes a commitment to listen with all our senses and all our being.”
This idea of saging really speaks to me. As you may know, my jam is to talk to people about food and bodies—specifically, people’s relationships with food and their bodies. I was curious about how the idea of “saging” could be applied to these relationships.
We are born with an innate ability to listen to our body, our wants and needs, our sensations and emotions. This connection is often ruptured at some point in people’s lives. For some, it happens as early as around two years of age (when the process of socialization begins). Our relationship with eating and our bodies becomes complicated.
This rupture, or break in body trust, can happen at any time in one’s life. It is notably marked by a moment when our inner wisdom no longer matches what we are learning from outside of us (parents, teachers, doctors, peers). It was around this time that many began to doubt their wisdom—to doubt this very natural process of “saging.”
Take me, for example. Around age eleven or twelve, I was rocking along, eating when I was hungry, expressing myself through dance, and overall, getting along pretty well with my body. Then, at thirteen, I hit puberty. My body began to undergo changes, and I looked outside of myself for wisdom about how to proceed. Diet culture was cued up and ready to respond. I got the message from peers, health class, parents, and media that my body was not OK and that I needed to override my body’s natural messages in order to exert “control” over my situation. I began dieting and threw any inner listening (or saging) out the window. Not only did I abandon my hunger and fullness cues, but I also threw out the baby with the bathwater (which may be the way it works for everyone). I no longer knew much about what I really needed or wanted. Feelings and sensations became veiled as I focused more and more outside myself for guidance.
There can be a reclamation of this ability to connect to our inner wisdom. Here are some ideas about how we can begin again to practice saging (deep listening to access wisdom) with our bodies.
1. Let go of judgment.
Can we approach our bodies’ signals with curiosity and wonder, instead of judgment? One of the hallmark effects of living in diet culture is to judge our hunger. Have you ever said to yourself, “I shouldn’t be hungry! I just ate!” Or maybe, “This food noise (which is a sign of hunger, and often a sign of restriction, BTW) is so annoying!I wish it would go away!” When we have negative opinions or preconceived ideas about our bodies’ signals, they can become quieter and more obtuse, until we can’t really hear them at all. The same thing can happen when we judge our emotions. Let’s say I learned from society that feeling angry was not good. The angry part of me can become clouded and quieted, until it’s unable to communicate important information (like, “Alert! A boundary was crossed!”).
2. Reflect and name what you hear.
One helpful tool when listening to others is to reflect what you’ve heard, so the other person feels listened to, validated, understood, and has a platform to expand. Using this tool can improve communication. The same tool works when listening to your body. Reflect what you hear by naming it. Tune in to your body and acknowledge your level of hunger with validation.
An example might be: “I notice I’m at a hunger level 4. I know I will be getting hungrier soon, so I will start thinking about what I’ll have for lunch now, instead of waiting until my hunger hits me over the head with a 2x4.” The more we can name what we’ve heard, the stronger our connection will be to our signals.
3. Take it slow.
In this fast-paced society, it can be countercultural to touch down into the present experience of our bodies. There are a number of mindfulness apps to help you let in what is before you. I like Insight Timer, it has a free version with great meditations, music, and other resources for grounding into what we sense and feel. Alternatively, you could take a nature walk or spend some time focusing on your breathing.
4. Use some prompting tools.
When we first begin to listen, what are we listening for? What if we don’t know what we’re hearing? Here are a hunger/fullness scale and an emotions wheel. Consider them like a menu. When intending to tune in, you could look over the choices and ask yourself which resonates. Consider them as guides to help you access and interpret your body’s signals.
- Here is a link to a downloadable hunger/fullness scale for you to practice with
- And here’s one for an emotions wheel I like
Through saging (deep listening to access wisdom) with our bodies, healing can happen. I used to think a Sage was someone much wiser than me. Let me tell you, I searched for the answers from teachers, therapists, doctors, and other guru types for years. I thought if I found the right Sage, I would be healed. Come to find out, I am the Sage. (And you are too!) If saging is the process of deep inner listening, it is a firsthand experience. All the wisdom you need is within you now, and healing is at hand as you start to listen.
Another quote from Mark N. that I appreciate is:
“Often, we can’t do this alone and need the friendship of the grove to help each other find our way back to the oldest sage of all – the living presence…”
Looking for some friendship and support as you find your way back? Reach out to me here to schedule a free meet-and-greet. And while you’re on my website, please peruse the group offerings too.